you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
