At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
