i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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