Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
