so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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