Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Watching her eat just hurts me
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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