if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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