shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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