I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
