What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
