You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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