Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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