dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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