That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
