just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize