ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
