I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he was CRYING into my vagina
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
