ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
