You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I need to align my fucking chakras
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
