i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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