Having a random hookup so left but love u
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
