My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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