How'd it feel making her break her religion?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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