Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
