We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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