Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
