So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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