Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
