where does the pee come out of this thing
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
