Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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