Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
