I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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