the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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