what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
