Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize