why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
