My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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