party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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