Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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