I cockslap morals
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
whose parrot is this?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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