So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
