I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
