well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
