just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
