god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize