nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
