The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
