Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
