A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
