I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
NoShamevember. You game?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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