u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
