But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
