Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize