Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
