I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize