Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
