just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
