I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
