I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
