But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
