why didn't you poke me back
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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